Talking about personal style is starting to get tiresome. On one side, you’ve got people selling you the "secret" to discovering your personal style (with a list of "wardrobe must-haves" to buy). And on the other, you've got people rolling their eyes and telling you, “It’s not that deep.”
I'm fed up with both.
I’m tired of being caught between hyper-consumerist influencers pushing trends and the anti-consumption crowd dismissing fashion as trivial. I want to enjoy style without being made to feel like I’m either a mindless consumer or that my love for clothes is shallow and vain.
I imagine a lot of people feel the same way, stuck between those who only offer generic advice on how to “discover your personal style” and those who just want you to shut up and get dressed.
I’ve been writing about sustainable fashion, capsule wardrobes, and yes, personal style, for over a decade. And I am so tired of reading the same regurgitated advice: buy this thing, wear it that way, and suddenly, you’ve supposed to have a unique style.
It’s the same energy as capsule wardrobe guides packed with dull beige basics and the never-ending debate about finding your signature style that screams, “Just wear your clothes—but not like that!” over and over again.
I've got big feelings about the subject.
Dressing Well =/= Having Style
Saying someone doesn’t have personal style isn’t mean if all they’re doing is copying what everyone else is wearing. And you've got to admit, this is funny.
Showing up somewhere to find multiple people are in almost the exact same outfit proves something we don’t always want to admit: most of us just want to fit in.
And that’s fine! Wearing the same outfit as someone else isn’t inherently embarrassing, especially if you don’t care and just want to look good. But copying an outfit piece for piece—from the grey pleated skirt down to the burgundy tights—is like copying someone’s homework without actually understanding the answers.
It doesn’t teach you anything.
And the funniest part is the influencers trying to convince you they have personal style, all while wearing the exact same outfits as their influencer besties.
Personal style isn’t about wearing fashionable clothes well. It's about making style choices that feel authentic to you, rather than simply imitating what others are doing.
Copying outfits can absolutely be part of the process of finding your personal style. But if you never move beyond replication, you’re not developing a style of your own, you’re just following a formula someone else created.
And eventually, you’ll hit a wall. You’ll run out of outfit ideas, trends will move on, and you’ll feel like you have to "find your style" all over again—because you never really found your style to begin with.
There’s nothing wrong with borrowing ideas. Everyone takes inspiration from somewhere. But personal style requires interpretation. It’s not about wearing the “right” clothes; it’s about wearing clothes in a way that feels right for you.
If you’re happy copying outfits and sticking to tried-and-true combinations, go for it! But let’s not pretend that’s the same as having a distinct personal style. Style comes from experimentation: figuring out what works for you, what doesn’t, and pushing beyond the safe, pre-approved outfits the internet has collectively agreed are good.
And yes, sometimes that means taking fashion risks, making mistakes, and looking back at old photos thinking, “What was I wearing?” But that’s how you learn. That’s how you develop style instead of just buying into it.
Fashion is meant to be fun. It’s okay to care about it, and it’s okay not to. Just don’t confuse looking good in an internet-approved outfit with having a personal style that’s actually yours.
I guess that’s where the “shut up and get dressed” crowd comes in. Because, at the core of it, personal style is as simple as waking up and putting clothes on your body. It can be as complicated or as easy as you want it to be.
Just make it yours.
This!